Ownership

In my one experience with home "ownership," I paid half the mortgage for three years but did not have my name on the deed, so it wasn't really ownership at all; ultimately I had nothing to show for it. In any case, I did not enjoy co-owning a home, even as nice a home as it was (it was featured on HGTV's National Open House during my residency). The responsibilities involved in keeping a home and grounds simply didn't interest me very much, while they were of completely absorbing interest to my then-partner; this led to a troubling imbalance. I tried to conscientiously shoulder my share of the burdens, but I know that I failed (and I am sure he would put it more strongly than that). I am also certain that whatever I did do was undertaken with a less-than-sparkling attitude. I'm a bad faker, and in my world-view there isn't much time for mowing. Home care is all just chores. I do like taking care of the small details of my life, so long as they are small; but even a small home is big. (Don't get me started on the madness of "second homes" and lake cottages.)

Renting is the perfect solution for me, because for most things that need serious tending, someone else takes care of it -- and the expense is built into the rent. I view a big chunk of rent money as insurance against what can go wrong. The refrigerator dies? It gets replaced immediately and I don't have to pay for it. The garage door breaks (it just did, in fact)? The maintenance guy is there in a snap. Leakage from the attic (a few weeks ago)? Ditto. Ah, the care-free lifestyle!

But what about a condo, I hear someone asking? A little more work and responsibility, but not too much, and the reward of actual equity? The concept doesn't fire my enthusiasm. In some ways, owning a condo is worse than owning a home, because not only do I have to pay for what I want and need, I have to pay for "common areas" and what other people want and need as well. Negotiating with a spouse is tough enough; negotiating with a condo board and all your fellow condo owners strikes me as completely hairy (and condo-owning friends vouch for both that annoyance and for the unexpected costs that arise).

With a couple of notable exceptions, then -- clothing and books -- I'm not real keen on ownership. I do love owning my car (especially now that it's paid off!), but that's it for vehicles. I own scarcely any furniture. I own no investments; I'll take it all in cash. I'm bonded with my cat Claire and other pets I have had and will have, but I don't consider that I own them; they are friends that I love and care for. You don't own your friends.

Ownership is, by and large, just one more over-rated burden.

POSTSCRIPT: That house, by the way, did not reflect my personality at all, not one iota. And that's not because I didn't put in sufficient work; it's not quite like that. I didn't have a vote. I remember prevailing on one minor point, the placement of a desk; I had to fight with all my might for that, and my partner never stopped looking for an opportunity to move the desk again. A home of mine would be neat enough, but filled everywhere with books and working materials; it would not be picture-perfect; it would never make HGTV. My partner banned all books to a small office, and made sure that no knick-knackery of mine was visible anywhere. I paid for half the house, but felt like I was living in a small remote corner of it.