Case in point: these randy politicians! In the wake of John Ensign and Mark Sanford, can't we just stipulate that male politicians, like male actors, singers, athletes, CEOs -- in short, any guys who attain to fame, wealth, power -- are highly unlikely to be able to control themselves sexually for any great length of time, no matter the huge penalty to be paid if they are found out, and no matter what their stated "moral philosophy" is? Let's not consider these fellows the "exceptions"; let's look for exceptions in the other direction -- the Christian politician, say, who not only believes what he is saying (which is relatively easy) but can actually live up to it (which is very hard). Some may counter that those who become embroiled in sexual scandals are still a small minority -- but do you really think we hear about more than 3% of what actually goes on? I don't (although over time, because of intrusive new technologies, the percentage is going up).
Gay men make more sense on this issue, perhaps because they face up to the implications of maleness. The number of long-term gay male relationships I know of personally in which absolute monogamy is demanded is -- this is easy to guess -- zero. Every couple has a different accommodation, different "rules," but every such couple I know (or have been part of) has discussed this issue in detail and has come to decisions. It's harder for men to have illusions when it comes to other men, than it is for women -- or voters -- to have those illusions.
UPDATE (6/25/2009): Jon Stewart summed up the Sanford situation well: "Just another politician with a conservative mind and a liberal penis."
UPDATE (6/26/2009): Very apropos is a famous passage from Clare Boothe Luce's The Women (both play and film) in which the wise old mother of the cheated-upon Mary Haines explains how these things work (this is the theatrical text):
Time comes when every man's got to feel something new -- when he's got to feel young again, just because he's growing old. Women are just the same. But when we get that way we change our hairdress. Or get a new cook. Or redecorate the house from stem to stern...a man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self -- in the mirror of some woman's eyes.
This does suggest that if a 45-year-old guy betrays a sudden mad urge to make a thoroughly impractical vehicle purchase, his wife might well let him do it, after grumbling just a bit for form's sake. He could be sublimating other sorts of urges. Of course, he could also be showing off to his new girlfriend; you never can tell.
UPDATE (7/5/2009): Leonard Pitts has a nice take:
The [male] governor...figures he can get away with it. With the arrogance, recklessness, self-delusion and lack of foresight common to my gender, he figures he can handle it, somehow. Granted, he does this figuring with the part of the body that does not contain the brain, but still, he does it. And then, when it all falls apart, he stands there and insults the intelligence of every human being within earshot.
"I made a mistake?''
Beg pardon, but what he made was a decision.
